I have been contemplating doing this for a bit now but I haven’t found the right dose of motivation to do it. In other words I have been a lazy twat. Yes, I know I have to introduce myself to blogville.
My name is Larry and I am a Sushey.
I am probably the most handsome Sushey y’all will ever see because you see I am HENDOWED.

Larry Sushey


What were you thinking?! *adjusts trossis* Yes, I take kissing classes and ayamm very good at it so feel free to call me anytime. Both men and women, all join. *side eye*

I will via this blog attempt to educate you mere mortals about the Sushey world and any other random thoughts that swirl around in my mind. If you think outside the box, I think out the world. Did I also mention that I am immortal? Right.

First, I will attempt to familiarize you with a few of the words that will probably feature a lot in my blogs. Call it Sushey lingua(e).

ABANA: noun -plural -(s) also known as Banny. Any woman who is neither your sister nor your mother. For example, to me your sister is an abana but to you she’s not & vice versa. Yes you reading, you are a banny, and did I hear that guy say so is my mother? Correct guy!!!

 

DISCOMBOBULATE: -verb to destroy, maim, kill, hurt, disenfranchise, dismember, poison, beat up, intoxicate, *insert any bad action word*, something or someone.

EGYPT: -noun, place. One of the Sushey pads. What happens in Egypt stays in Egypt.

 

EXTREBOLATE: -verb to exit a place, an event or a person.

GAROOHORBIT: -noun, cigarettes. I will intimate you of the origins of this word in subsequent posts.

INTREBOLATE: -verb to enter a place, an event or a person.

LOLA: -noun coined from the Yoruba word “atemolola” which means to give a child wealth. This is what the rest of you call the ATM machine.

 

YANKEE: -noun, place another of the various Sushey pads. What happens in Yankee stays in Yankee.

 

Alright, ayaff tayad. I said a few words and I’m sure that if you are not stupid you will pick up the rest of the words in subsequent posts.
I will also feature guest writers like Willy-Willy (yes she’s not dead)

Willy Willy a.k.a I must to kill Nkemji


Monrufu , @ SheriphSkills’ pet rat,

Th rat simply known as Morunfu

and other talented men, women, animals and spirits of timber and caliber.
In the mean time, Let me use this opportunity to invite any one who’s reading this to the 1st and last end of the world super bash!!! Oh yes mortals, You all have ten days to live *insert evil laugh* So it’s your last opportunity to parray like a rockstar!Have you heard the song that that foolish Bankole boy stole from Sushey records? “Ain’t no parray like a Sushey parray and in Sushey parrays we dey bother everbody…” Yeah, that Bankole. The real Master Sushey just decided against punishing him because of his side burns. Yes, there is something about Sushey and side burns. It’s like kpoff – kpoff and honey.
Ehen, back to the parray. There are goinna a lorrof shekpe, opa eyin, paraga, squadron, monkey tail e.t.c Also moin moin, okpa, boli, guguru, abacha and to crown it all up Marijuana of the highest quality. Abanas seff must plenty much. Come with your friends, enemies, family and pets alike. There will be enough for everyone.
Remember that this is the last party of your miserable lives so get ready to tell everyone your church mind.

Those you have hated secretly and haven’t had the guts to tell. That your bestfriend’s abana you gbenshed secretly that night he was outta town. That meat you stole in primary 5 and blamed it on the housegirl. You will have only a few hours to tell them all this so i suggest you come early so as to get discombobulated early. At least if the world doesn’t end the following day, You could blame it on the alcohol. Venue and dress code will be communicated to you in due course. Intrebolation time is 6:pm and you can extrebolate anytime after 12 midnight. Did i mention that we will have a pastor/imam/babalawo in house to conduct prayers just in case you believe in heaven and wanna make it. This might be your last chance. Don’t dull.
Once again, Larry is my name and i am a Sushey. Welcome to my blog.

*NB- All gbagauns are intentional.