Everything is lit.

What is wrong with you people?

You have made me hate the word so much fleek is acceptable and we all know fleek is absolute rubbish.

A man will wake up in the morning from his lit bed, say his lit prayers and proceed to the loo to take a lit shit.

Man: “Mehnn! This shit is lit.”


You’d think he was excreting crystals

Jamie Vardy hardly puts a foot wrong but he should have said “Chat lit, get banged.” You people know how to abuse anything.

Just now now that I travelled you people have lit up everywhere and everything. By now, I would’ve expected Nigeria to be well lit up but no, It is your stupid every-thing-else. Your eye brows are lit but I don’t see no fire. Your cat is lit, your car is lit, your party is lit, your food is lit, everything in your life is lit. You be fire? Even urban dictionary, the BESTESTEST dictionary in the whole wide world’s top definition defines it thus:

The state of being so intoxicated (regardless of the intoxicating agent) that all the person can do is smile, so that they look lit up like a light.
He’s so lit he can’t even talk. Pee.


In fact the only things that are not lit in this life are the things that are supposed to be. Your room, your stove and your smokes.

Seriously though I can understand a party being “lit” but you people just light anything these days. Somebody will wear new shoe and describe it as being lit. We see picture of said shoes and there are no lights in the destiny of ’em shoes. In fact, it seems like the cobbler who made the pair did so in the dark.

So much disrespect.




You ask someone how the night was and they tell you it was lit. This is someone that spent the whole night sleeping!

Sleeping alone.

In darkness.

Because NEPA.

“Man I was at my friend’s crib last night and it was so lit.” You’d think he was referring to this…

lit house

Lit crib

But no. They were at the balcony having suya and beer.

2nd shortest thing I ever wrote but I beg of you, let this lit go with 2015. You can do it… Remember you let bae and fleek go. This shouldn’t be too hard.

If not, chat lit get banged!

Larry Sushey.


P.S. Happiness party comes up on the 23rd of Deecember in Lagos and i cannot promise that it will be “lit”but there will be plenty an opportunity for you to get LIT.

I promise.


dance forever