Sharrap! I know you have missed me and there’s nothing you can say/do to convince me otherwise. Thou shalt not (˘̯˘ )!
I’ve been so busy with life so much so that I haven’t had time for blogosphere. So when I had a lil’ chat with Tola and she offered to write on here, I jumped on the opportunity like a copper coin on magnet. She writes about shoes. Something that has been on my mind for a bit now… Enjoy!

N.B- Takalmi is Hausa for shoes (I think)

“There are two kinds of people in this world, my friend; the kind that notice the shoes first and the kind that don’t.” Wise words from Tuco Ramirez (of the Good, the Bad and the Ugly – directed by Firdausi – fame). Today, we are going to talk about shoes; the stiff outer covering for feet. I really don’t know where to start from so I’m going to do what I do best – write nonsense and hope you find the sense and discard the non.
So we are going to start with what shoes are made of. Leather, wood, canvas, rubber, plastic and other petrochemical-derived materials (for more details please go to are materials that are involved in the shoe making process. This post is supposed to be about my take on shoes, so I’m going to select a few types.
Men have no problem when it comes to shoes (or most things in life); most of their shoes are comfortable (or so they look). What, you have your pams, toms, vans, loafers, plimsoles, what else? Bottom line, you guys are happy with your choice of footwear. I really don’t have anything to say under this sub-topic. If you are guy and you want an in-depth write up on this, this is the wrong post.

LADIES!!!! Yes! Wassup y’all. :D. ok, so I’m not really a girly girl, I wear mostly sandals and I just started wearing shoes at the beginning of this session (October). When the Great Massasushey chose this topic, I was perplexed as to what exactly I would write but I am the Queen of Freestyling (among other things, Subs included). I’m going to start with sandals. I absolutely loooove them; comfortable, pretty, lets your feet breathe, comfortable, doesn’t require much space to pack in a bag, comfortable, FLAT(very important to me), easy to put on (unless u buy the ones with annoying straps), comfortable… what else, comfortable, comfortable… and oh, comfortable.
Peep-toe shoes; in my opinion, the toes that are peeping out are more hurt than those minding their business (this further illustrates that aproko is bad). And some people ‘with toes like pincers’ refuse to spare us and wear this kind of shoes. Like seriously? The only reason I can think of for wearing a peep-toe is maybe because you want to seduce those with toe fetish(es), you know, the mini skirt effect… I can’t even wear my pair if I don’t have nail polish on (yes dear, I have a pair). To cut this story short, your toes shouldn’t be peeping if they are not pretty; and please don’t tell me you are proud of your toes, no one is proud of ugly (and if you are, I’m praying for you right here).

Heels!!! Oh Lord, I still haven’t been able to adjust to this kind. You can call me a failed woman if you want to. Omo, that thing no easy jo! I can’t even wear it for three straight hours (church). My mother says with time, it’ll come to me; it’s not coming. Some of my ‘friends’ have asked me what I’ll wear on my wedding day (assuming I’m going to get married – anyway, refer to the fourth paragraph). They say heels complement an outfit, I say there’s an alternative to everything (ask our dearest muslim brethren, they came up with shisha among other stuff). Besides, I can look just as good in my darling flats. Since I have never won a comfortable pair of heels, I have concluded that heels are worn either by stoics or masochists. I will end here.

Actually, I will NOT end there. I heard platforms are the most comfortable and stilettos are the least. Why would I even want to wear anything named after a dagger? (but I can wear stuff named after a type of fighter sha). Some women are blessed with the gift of wearing heels sha… Lady Gaga for example, that woman is just… she makes it look so easy! With those funny looking stuff she wears *sign of the cross*. You don’t want to be like Onika Maraj; ever notice how she has to hold somebody anytime she’s in heels? Like seriously, it’s not by force. If I had that much money, I’ll have Giuseppe make me a pair of looooovely flats; custom made and all.
This is officially the end of this post.

I’ve always wanted to be a Sushey and now that I’m on a Sushey’s blog, I can’t help but feel elated. Er… I’m also a feature blogger so you can contact me if you want me to write something for you, you have to come up with a topic though. I would like to thank my sis for editing this, me for writing this, Siobhan (I just came up with this name for my laptop, I really wanna be a cool kid) for not shutting down suddenly and deleting all this work, you for reading this, Massasushey for posting this; and anyother person/thing that has made this post possible.
Dear Susheys, I reside in Abuja and it would be an honour if I am made part of your family (one would think that knowing Teni ‘personally’ would make this easier).
And let’s not forget, people, the Firdausi Fone Fund. Please make this #TeamForeverAlone member happy by donating to the cause of the purchase of a pink Samsung Galaxy Note.

Thank you and God bless.
Boys have ugly shoes too babe! Didn’t you read “The Last Mohican?” That was the 2nd post ever on this blog I think…
Anyway, much ado about shoes. Use the comment section to share your experiences on any ‘shoe’ experiences.

Plus, do y’all think Tola should be a Sushey?! 😀 =D. Contact her on twitter; @Phydaursi.

Immortal Larry Sushey.