As a child, i remember one fateful day. Mother had the previous night been frying some fish which was to be used for stew the next day. I remember the aroma as in invaded my nostrils and in a zombie-like fashion, i strolled out of the room towards the kitchen and attempted to grab a piece. Only a stinging slap to the back propelled me back to reality. Mama saved me or rather, she saved her fish.
Fast forward to the next day after school, the maid had gone to play downstairs as usual and i strolled into the kitchen. The ‘spirit’ possessed me again and I only regained control over my body after a large piece of fish had been devoured. I swear i was ‘shocked’. Anyway, mother returns and found out that a piece of fish was missing. The woman; I don’t know whether she counted the fish or maybe by chance, i had taken the largest piece which was of course reserved for ‘daddy’. I was accused of stealing fish and given the beating of my life. I told them i didn’t steal it and only ‘took’ it but all my pleas fell on deaf ears. I knew they weren’t joking when they brought out a used tyre, and petrol and were about to set me ablaze… Anyway, i’m alive today. That story is for another day. All i know is that fish is very powerful.
This post is not intended to be funny so please don’t laugh. I am serious to the letter! Read the following with rapt attention.
It’s been a while I shared wisdom up in here. I’ve been telling cool stories for the last couple of posts so it’s time to get serious. All play and no work makes Jack a dullard. Today, i proffer to you a solution to one of Nigeria’s and in fact black Africa’s major problems. That problem is not food ala fish smart ass! It’s…. power.
I bring to you a sustainable, natural, cheap and renewable power source. The electric fish.
Did you know that an electric eel can produce very strong electricity to shock/stun or even kill large animals? In fact, it has been reported that in strongly electric fishes, such as the electric eel, electric catfish, and electric rays, the electric organ is huge containing numerous charge producing cells called electrocytes . So numerous that their discharge voltage can reach as high as 600 volts! Under the right conditions, A 30volt charge is enough to kill one fully grown man.
Now according to Wikipedia, there are three hundred and forty eight (348) species of electric fish. Not all of these fish can generate electricity; some which can only detect electric fields are also referred to as being electric. Most of the world’s electric fish live in the tropical rivers of Africa and South America and only a fraction live in the ocean. This is captured effectively by Moller in the figure below:
Take a critical look at the picture above. Notice that the strongly electric intermittent fish are found mostly around West Africa and the Northern axis of South America. Zooming further in, the zone where you have the “Malapterus” species happens to include parts of north western Nigeria. Sokoto, Kebbi, Zamfara and Niger states can make themselves useful instead of being complete weists. Now take a moment to ponder this. Let’s pick a state, say Lagos. The governor can just decide to evacuate an entire suburb of Lagos. He can take the Ogba/Iju axis all the way to Akute and evacuate the people there to Ogun state or something. Ogun state needs more people. You can then convert the whole area into some sort of industrial fish farm. Imagine a large lake filled with ‘Malapteruruses’ and ‘Torpedoes’ and ‘Astroscopuses’ and ‘Electrophoruses’, the latter three imported from the ocean and South America swimming in separate or similar little tanks or ponds and their electricity harvested for general consumption. Add that to the Hydro electricity generated by the turbines in Kainji and the numerous power generating gas plants and we have another viable option here. We could even sell the electricity in cute little car battery sized aquaria with a few of these fishes in them and have them in every home.
Good thing is that they’ll also have aesthetic value. So that’ll be like killing two birds with one stone. Plus guess what people? The Malapterurus happens to be our very own delicacy in these parts, the catfish. You see now eh? Whenever your electric catfish or whatever type of fish you have in your little power aquarium gets old, so old that they cannot generate enough power again, you can just get them replaced and convert them to more familiar uses.
Peppersoup.
Wetin?
Even Jesus said man shall not live by bread alone. A few years later, he fed a multitude of 5000 Jews with bread and you already know… FISH.
Okay seriously now, think about it. Imagine if we had fish powered cars, motorcycles, cookers, blenders etc. I read somewhere that the high-performance Tesla Roadster electric-powered vehicle is run on a 375 volt AC induction air-cooled electric motor. A single Electrophorus electricus also known as the electric eel can produce a 600 volt charge! The possibilities are endless. Further studies on how these fish cells produce the electricity can be done and replicated in artificial power-generating fish cells which can then be used in medical implants such as pacemakers and artificial organs.
Don’t be ‘shocked’ I did this. This idea was birthed after consuming copious amounts of agbalumo flavoured vodka which in itself was developed by dedicated Sushey scientists working hard in our Sushey labs. Thank me later.
Everyone needs to learn the stuff i teach.
Immortally yours
Larry Sushey.
March 8, 2012 at 12:22 pm
Bows*
Sensei! Forever Immortal Sir Larry!
Interesting stuff!
March 8, 2012 at 12:48 pm
This is interesting.
March 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm
LOOOOOOOL Sushey never disappoints.
March 8, 2012 at 12:57 pm
All jokes aside, this is some serious shit.
Who woulda known?
But what happens when that yoruba man is hungry in the middle of that Lagos-ibadan expressway, and just happens to have ingredients for peppersoup in his car.
Na to comot battery chop na. 😀
Good post oh! 600 watts! Some generators no fit produce am sef.
March 8, 2012 at 4:56 pm
600 volts not watts
March 12, 2012 at 9:10 am
//_O
Student Terdoh, please pay more attention in class.
March 9, 2012 at 12:03 pm
I tell you bro! Chop battery trek go house,
March 8, 2012 at 12:59 pm
Jonzzzzzzzzzzzzzer!
March 8, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Is it easy being Larry Sushey?
March 8, 2012 at 1:06 pm
Larry sushi!!!! looool!…………..but very creative
March 8, 2012 at 1:29 pm
LOOOOL. Very interesting.
March 8, 2012 at 1:37 pm
You see,the scientists residing in the cranium of bigboiler’s lab are working in collaboration with blackberry corp. On the blackberry Empathy 2,as expected fish powered battery.
When ur battery level is low u only need to feed the fish with biscuit or something. Easy life right?
We should even have an electric fish about the size of a whale that can serve an estate. Well,that kainda fish wont live long in naij. Dnt ask me why.
I Hail the cranial nerves of the wise one.
March 8, 2012 at 1:43 pm
This is actually feasible! Sushey sama! I wanna work in your lab!
March 9, 2012 at 12:09 pm
I’m sure you’ll make a great scientist oh weird one!
March 8, 2012 at 2:18 pm
We’re gonna need lotsa fish on a large scale to make this happen. But let’s sea..it sure is possible.
As for you, O immortal sushey..while I commend such brilliance, I must warn you. As it turns out, I have vartious nationalities on my TL and RT’ing this link has put you on a certain watch list. A certain chinese man (name wii th eld) loves the idea. He has however decided to pursue the ‘big fish’ he said lotsa bla bla bla but I could pick out the name ‘sushi’
All I can say, is watch your back bro. Before you find yourself in soup..or power (as the case may be)
(Y)
March 9, 2012 at 12:18 pm
Brother, thou haven’t been taking thy meds yeah? I am immortal remember? Sushey>>>Sushi. Plus remember my post ‘letter to my unborn children’, the Chinese and I cannot be enemies. Thanks sha.
March 8, 2012 at 3:12 pm
LOL! I know they didn’t but saying ur folks brought out a used tyre & some fuel ready to burn u cos of the fish u stole/took… Smh. U freaking weirdo.
Now to the main shii. Interesting stuff… The uses? Endless… The aquariums-battery type things? Brilliant idea. They’ll serve as a source of power supply, they’ll beautify the home & when u’re hungry, u can just “point & kill” any of the fishes. *bows* u’re a great man.
March 8, 2012 at 3:19 pm
this is some awesome shit thooooo…buh why fish tho???why mehn…uggghh
March 8, 2012 at 3:20 pm
Please, where is this Sushey Labs? * inquisitive look*
March 9, 2012 at 12:23 pm
Secret location. Not open to mere mortals. Prove your immortality and gain knowledge.
March 8, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Wow!! Hyper interesting. This is serious.
March 8, 2012 at 4:56 pm
Talk about alternatiive energy, I want to intern at Sushey labs?
March 8, 2012 at 5:28 pm
Errm but why the ogba/iju axis?! I’m getting you!:-P
March 9, 2012 at 12:50 pm
Don’t get me started on that area… You already know it’s a dead zone nah.
March 8, 2012 at 5:34 pm
“hello honey, I’m home! What’s for dinner, I’m starving.”
“Well sweetheart we’re having catfish stew, your favorite!”
“Awww, honey your the best. What happened to the light? Wait a minute, is it the same catfish in the ‘generator’?! YOU DEY MAD NI?!!! TODAY WEY I SUPPOSE WATCH CHAMPIONS LEAGUE?!!!!!”
*WRESTLE MANIA XXXIV ensues*
….you see why this is a bad idea Sushey?! – a beatup husband that tried to form rambo with his wife 😦
March 9, 2012 at 12:31 pm
Ha! Na God go punish that kind woman…lol
March 10, 2012 at 3:48 pm
LOOOL!!! Omo that woman will die oh! What madness!
March 8, 2012 at 6:30 pm
One question; what were you smoking when this idea came to you?!
It must be the good stuff, I want some of it!
I need to come up with a Jurisprudential theory that would make Aristotle green with envy.
All I could think of before n after reading this post is point and kill catfish. I’m hungry 😦
March 9, 2012 at 12:43 pm
This one that you’re already thinking about ‘point and kill’ catfish, safe to say if the aquaria were the only poer source you’d never have power in your house. I referenced that I was drinking agbalumo flavoured vodka, unless of course you can smoke that…
March 8, 2012 at 8:48 pm
Lol! This some real ish
Imagine having such in fish fertile Rivers and Bayelsa state 🙂
March 8, 2012 at 10:17 pm
LOL Catfish toh quality…. this is really creative iLike
March 9, 2012 at 6:34 am
I like the way you write. This blogpost was educative,funny and awesome. What you said makes alotta sense, but then its Naija. How much do you think a ”Box” of fish would cost? Its still the rich and the ”High middle-class” can afford it.
March 9, 2012 at 8:47 am
LOLLLL. But what about the smell everywhere?
March 9, 2012 at 12:14 pm
*smh* The brilliant insanity here-in
March 10, 2012 at 3:50 pm
This is so stupid & yet so brilliant its rdic. Mr. Sushey, your mind na real wa!
March 15, 2012 at 6:32 am
thanks 4 bringing d idea.. I wanna patent d rights to fish powered blackberry, iphones & laptop chargers.. *think am* 😀